Dumb Laws:

Here are some weird laws from around the US and Canada. Some are really old and just have not been taken off the books yet. Others are trivial and unenforceable. But, some of them are often enforced. People do get arrested and fined for some stupid things!
1. In Ohio, it's illegal to get a fish drunk.
2. In Minnesota, it's illegal to have sex with a fish or a bird.
3. In Middleborough, Massachusetts, there's a $20 fine, each offense for swearing in public.
4. In Alaska, it's illegal to get drunk in a bar.
5. Everywhere in the US, it's illegal to sell a drunk person alcohol.
(I was in the Army in Ft. Hood, TX and I was trying to buy a case of beer in the PX. I was really drunk and trying to act sober.
The cashier said, "I can't sell you this because you're drunk."
I said, "No I'm not! Bitch, you better let me get this beer! Come on, don't be stupid!"
She said, "You're drunk! I can smell it on your breath!"
I said, "So what! You better let me get this beer or else we're going to have some problems!"
A friend of mine who was with me and sober came in, told me to calm down and go wait in the car.
She said, "I'll sell it to him, but not you."
I said, What difference does it make? I'm still going to be drinking it you stupid, ugly, **** ***** ****** ******* ***** **** ***!")
6. All over the US and Canada, it's illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
7. In Arkansas, it is illegal to pronounce the name of the state incorrectly.
(Why don't they pass a similar law in Michigan, making it illegal to mispronounce or misspell the word: "MACKINAC". For those who don't live in Michigan, it is pronounced: "Mack-en-aw".
8. In New Orleans, it is illegal to wear a mask at any time of the year, except during Mardi Gras.
(Technically, you aren't even supposed to wear a mask on Halloween.)
9. In Georgia, it's illegal to eat Chicken with a fork! By law, you have to eat it with your fingers!
(People have been arrested for violating this law!)
10. In French Lick, Indiana, Black cats are required to wear a bell around their neck all day on Friday the 13th.
(What a dumb name for a city!)
11. In Maine, it's illegal to post advertisements on another person's tombstone.
12. In Massachusetts, you can't dance to the National Anthem.
13. In Massachusetts, they can't have a "Happy Hour"at bars.
(They should have a "Drown Your Sorrows hour" or a "Sad and Depressed Hour" instead.)
14. In S Carolina, up until 2014, it was illegal to sell alcohol on Election Day. They thought politicians might bribe citizens with free drinks.
(So that's how Obama got elected!)
15. In Arkansas, Underage drinking will get you a fine and in some cases, minors have to write an essay about alcohol.
16. In UT, AZ, CO and OK, it's illegal to collect rain water on your own property or anywhere else.
17. In Oklahoma, it's illegal to Wrestle a Bear.
18. In S. Carolina it's illegal to work or dance on Sunday.
19. California has banned plastic drinking straws.
20. In Ocala, Florida, it's illegal to "sag" your pants.
(There is a $500 fine or 6 months in jail for this!
I wish that were illegal everywhere! Nobody wants to look at your underwear!)
21. In Memphis, Tennessee, homeless people need to get a permit to panhandle.
22. In Galveston, Texas, it's illegal to throw trash out of a plane.
23. In Virginia, no pet Skunks.
24. In Washington State, you get a $1,000 fine for poaching Bigfoot.
(Because, if he really exists, he's an endangered species.)
25. In Michigan, you can't tie an Alligator to a fire hydrant.
Also in Michigan:
You can't paint Sparrows to sell them as Parakeets.
You can't be drunk on a train.
It's illegal in MI to swear around women and children.
(I know some women who should be arrested for that!)

In Canada:

1. You can't swear in French.
(Ach scheisse! (Oh shit! German) I swear in German all the time!)
2. It's illegal to turn Right on a Red light.
3. You do have the right to remain silent and not answer any questions and the right to an Attorney. BUT, you do not have the right to have an Attorney present during questioning.
4.  It's illegal to eat an Oyster if you don't make sure it was treated humanely.
5. It's illegal to consume fake maple syrup.
6. It's illegal to show public affection on Sunday.
7. Businesses must have rails for tying up horses.