Idioms that Autistic people may not understand:

IDIOMS THAT PEOPLE WITH AUTISM AND ASPERGER'S MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND:

Children and even some adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders might not understand some of the expressions people use everyday.
One common characteristic of Autism Spectrum Disorders is a tendency to take things literally.
Interpreting things literally has actually helped me understand jokes and even write a few of my own original jokes.
Most people with Asperger's don't understand jokes very well. However, I am an exception. I have always been good at telling and understanding jokes.
If you have an Aspie (Someone with Asperger's) kid, you should avoid using these expressions, because they might not understand them or, worse yet, they could take them literally:
1. Raining cats and dogs.
Pouring rain.
The kid might get confused when they look out the window and they don't see any animals falling out of the sky.
2. This is a "Drill". Or, I am going to "drill" you on Math.
To give someone or a group of people a test.
The kid might think you're going to go to the garage, grab the drill and drill a hole in their head!
3. You hit the nail on the head.
To answer a question perfectly, exactly right.
They may get confused, because they are not using a hammer and pounding a metal nail into wood.
4. You bit off more than you can chew.
Trying to take on too many responsibilities at once.
5. You just opened a big can of worms.
Cause a serious problem.
6. I see the light.
To suddenly understand something you had trouble understanding before.
7. What's up?
It even took me a long time to figure this one out! I now realize it's just some people's way of saying: "Hello, how are you doing?"
That one confused me for a long time! I never knew how to answer that. Then, I listened to how other people responded to it. I learned that, it's not meant to be a question and people don't expect you to answer it. It's just another way to say hello. The only response people expect to that "question" is: Hi, how ya' doin'". They don't expect you to stop and talk most of the time. But, it took me a long time to figure that one out!
8. Stoned.
Meaning: High from drugs.
It took me a while to figure this one out to. I always thought it meant: To throw rocks at someone. Although, I was correct, that is only One definition of the word. The other definition, High, is also correct.
9. I have a "Lead Foot".
To drive a car really fast.
10. "Keep an eye on this".
To watch over and protect something from theft or damage.
An Autistic kid might literally, take the item you want them to guard, pick it up, put it up to their face and hold it against their eyes.
11. Arrest.
To stop something from moving.
If you use this word around an Autistic kid, they might run and hide, because they might think the police are coming to take them to jail!

Things to do when you get high.

WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU'RE HIGH:
(Only do this stuff where Marijuana is legal!)

Watch YouTube videos that say: "Watch while high".
Drink beer. (Don't drink so much that you get drunk! I know from other people's experiences that being drunk and high at the same time is not very fun!)
Go to public places, like the mall, school or Time Square in in NYC.
Go to the bar and hang out with your friends.
Meet women (or men). Marijuana makes you more relaxed, better and much quicker than alcohol. It also makes some people more talkative.
Pet a cat or dog.
Talk to people, but, pretend you are not high.
Try doing a "Field Sobriety Test". The tests the police give you when they suspect you're driving drunk. Walk a straight line. Stand on one foot. Say the alphabet. Touch your nose. Etc.
Tell jokes.
Pull pranks on people.
Apply for a job online. Or go to a job interview. JUST KIDDING! DON'T DO THIS!!!
Smoke more weed (or Crack).
Video tape yourself while high. Watch the tape the next day. Laugh at yourself and then, DESTROY THE TAPE AND THROW IT AWAY!!! Because, if you don't, someone might find the tape and use it against you in some way! They could blackmail you or just put it on YouTube, use it as evidence against you in court, etc.
Karaoke.
Listen to your favorite music (It sounds a little different when your high).
Watch: Live PD and Cops. (Both of those TV shows will probably scare the hell out of you if you watch them high. Just because they show police).
Watch "To Catch a Predator" (Watching that show is funnier and more entertaining when  you are high. It is also scary, because it shows police arresting people and weird child molesters walking into a strange house and meeting Chris Hansen. You can watch old episodes of the show on YouTube.).
Give prank calls (I certainly don't seriously recommend giving prank calls, because it's illegal. But, if you choose to do it, don't blame me! Because, I said, don't do it)!
Play Bloody Mary (Go in a dark room with a mirror. Shut the lights off. Stand in front of the mirror. Close your eyes. Spin around Three (3) times and say, "Bloody Mary" each time you spin around. Face the mirror and open your eyes. If you see Bloody Mary in the mirror, freeze, DON'T MOVE! You have to wait until she disappears. If you move while you see her in the mirror, she will slash your throat and kill you!!!! She is very mean! It might take a few seconds before she disappears or it could take all night!
(Playing Bloody Mary would probably be even scarier than watching Live PD or Cops.)
Drink lots of water, eat chocolate and munch on non-fattening foods (You will get the munchies and you will get cotton mouth, you'll be extremely thirsty. Marijuana  makes some people crave Chocolate).
Look at the stars in the sky (Don't use a Telescope! Because, you may be really clumsy and knock the Telescope over and break it! If you have an expensive Telescope, you don't want to take that risk!).
Sleep (Marijuana helps some people sleep. It causes other people problems sleeping. I know somebody who said they woke up screaming and terrified, because they had horrible nightmares after smoking weed!)
Watch a movie. (There are some specific, crazy movies that are good to watch while high, including: The Matrix, Wizard of OZ, Friday the 13th 3-D, Alice in Wonderland and Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood are just a few examples).
Write anything you can think of. Just random thoughts (Write One full page. Then, check out what you wrote the next day, when you're sober. Some people have fun reading all the crazy, weird Things they wrote and seeing how sloppy their writing was the next day).
Read a book (It will probably take you about Ten minutes to read Two paragraphs! Then, you won't remember anything you read Two minutes later! You don't have a good short term memory when you're high. You also won't be able to concentrate on reading for very long. I don't know why weed is approved to treat ADHD.)
Go for a walk (Be careful if you walk down the road or sidewalk. Because, the police might see you or you might walk out into traffic. It might be safer to walk through parking lots or through the woods and staying away from the road.)
Do Pushups, sit ups or other basic, simple exercises (Nothing to strenuous, like lifting weights or running).
Put on camouflage, go out to the woods and play Army (War games). Just, don't use any real guns!
Order Pizza or other food delivery. ( Either order food for yourself or order delivery for your neighbors. You sit in front of your window and watch the pizza delivery driver try to deliver the pizza to your neighbors and laugh at their reaction!)
Check out all the ugly girls and see if they actually start to look good.
Go to a fast food drive through. Order food, a rum and Coke and water. Tell them you have the munchies and cotton mouth. Tell them you want this order to go (not for dine in). Ask if you can buy some more Marijuana. Then drive away laughing!

Things you should NOT do while high:
Drive a car!
Ride a bike.
Ride a skateboard.
Go surfing.
Swim.
Shoot a gun.
Hang around with people you don't like.
Go to work or school.
Do homework assignments for school.
Type anything at all on: Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Instagram or similar sites.
Go shopping for groceries, clothes, cars, gold jewelry or anything, especially nothing expensive! This includes: Not going to the store and don't get on EBay or other, similar sites.
Just plain stay off the Internet period when you're high or drunk.
Play Football, Baseball or other sports. (Playing any sports or cheerleading would be very dangerous and you might end up in the hospital or dead!)
Ride a Horse or motorcycle.
Vote. (If you are a Republican, you might get crazy and vote for Tea Party, Democrat or Libertarian.)
Practice Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Kung Fu or other martial arts. That would be really dangerous.
Go to the police station and talk to the cops.
Lift weights (Very dangerous).
Run.
Cooking.
Skydiving.
Snowboarding.
Build a house. (You'd hit your fingers with the hammer more than you'd hit the nails!)
Science experiments. (I wonder what would happen if I mix these Three chemicals together? Boom!)
Don't do anything illegal or dangerous.

Most importantly, if you have serious problems, call 911! MOST OF THE TIME, Doctors, Paramedics, Nurses and everyone else that works in the hospital and ambulance are not allowed to tell anyone about your medical condition, any drugs you've taken or anything else, they can't even tell the police in most situations. They can usually, only tell someone about your medical condition with your written permission or a court order. That is the law in the US. The law is called: HIPPA.

Similarities between Asperger's and other disorders.

What does Asperger's have in common with other disorders?
Asperger's and Autism are frequently misdiagnosed and confused with other disorders, including:
ADHD
OCD
Schizophrenia
Just to name a few.
A few things these disorders have in common with Asperger's include:
ADHD:
Fidgeting.
Having trouble sitting quietly or sitting still.
Having trouble taking turns or waiting for their turn.
Frequently interrupting others.
Act or speak without thinking.
Struggle with following instructions.
Problems with being forgetful.
Ability to hyperfocus (often getting distracted and hyperfocusing on the wrong thing).
People with ADHD are more than 2x more likely to attempt suicide. People with Asperger's are more than 20 times more likely to attempt suicide than people without the disorder!
People often don't trust people with ADHD or Asperger's and people with these disorders have a hard time trusting other people.
Poor organization skills. Frequently losing things.
Not good at time management.
Anger outbursts.
A lot of people with either one of the disorders really love cats.

OCD:
Unwanted, intrusive thoughts.
Following a routine.
Obsessive hand washing.
Checking doors repeatedly to make sure they are locked.
Checking the stove to make sure it's off.

Schizophrenia:
Delusional thinking.
Easily agitated.
Lack of emotional expressions.
Phobias.
Acting inappropriately for the current situation. (Ex: Feeling sad, but smiling. Laughing at a funeral or showing no emotion or facial expression.)
Lack of pleasure or interest in things.
Little desire for social interactions.
Much higher risk of attempting suicide (About 10% of Schizophrenics attempt suicide).
People with Paranoid Schizophrenia often act aggressive and impulsive (Those traits are not as common in other types of Schizophrenia).
Stimming (Ex. Hand flapping, rocking back and forth, etc).

Asperger's:
Lack of social awareness (Not picking up on nonverbal cues. Not showing normal body language, facial expressions or tone of voice.
Also, not being able to pick up on other people's nonverbal body language, facial expressions, etc).
Unusual speech patterns.
(Monotone voice, speaking too loudly, more advanced vocabulary than most people their age,trouble comprehending figurative language, literal interpretation of things. "For example: Raining cats and dogs." They might think there is literally animals falling out of the sky.)
One sided conversations. (They don't let the other person talk as much as they do. Only want to talk about things they like.)
Resistance to change.
They appear to lack empathy. Sometimes they are truly not very empathetic. But, usually they are very empathetic, they just don't show it very well, because, they don't show facial expressions and body language very well. They also don't show the normal tone of voice for the situation. They often have monotone voices.
Easily overstimulated by noise, light, heat and cold).
Limited, intense interests on only a few subjects. Like, Outer Space, Dinosaurs, Math or cars.
Lack of eye contact. They have a very hard time looking people in the eyes. It is a phobia for them.
Sometimes staring at people or objects.
Difficulty making friends and keeping them.
A lot of kids have delayed motor skill development.
Isolation or minimal interaction in social situations.
Inability to understand and recognize: Humor, jokes, irony and sarcasm.
Problems expressing empathy, controlling emotions and communicating feelings.
Meltdowns.
Sometimes hyperactive.
Overstimulated senses.
A lot of people on the Autism spectrum love cats and dogs.
Have problems multitasking.
Often very smart with high IQ scores.
(Einstein and Bill Gates are suspected of having Asperger's. Bill Gates went to Harvard. Both of them had IQ scores of: 160, geniuses.)
Detail oriented. They notice fine details and not the big picture.
Can recognize patterns in things.
More than 20 times more likely to attempt suicide.
Clumsiness.
Stimming.
Able to hyperfocus on things.
Not big on team sports. Really not big fans of any sports at all. However, they'd rather play individual sports, that don't involve a team, like Golf.
Suffer from Depression and Anxiety.
Less trusting of people.
Have serious problems driving a manual transmission vehicle. They need to get an automatic transmission.
They often have problems finding and keeping a job.

More boys are diagnosed with Asperger's and Autism than girls.
It is difficult for Psychologists to test for Autism.
Most people are diagnosed when they are much older. (I was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 40.)
Someone who has Asperger's is often called an "Aspie".
Fidget Spinners are good for people with Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Asperger's is now referred to as an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Asperger's is no longer listed in the DSM manual.
People often have Two or more psychological disorders, such as: Asperger's and ADHD. This is known as: "Comorbid disorders".
Autism is represented by a puzzle. Because, it is a "puzzling disorder". There are so many symptoms. Nobody has literally all the symptoms. No Two people with the disorder are exactly alike. It is very puzzling and confusing to both people who have it and people that don't. It's usually a Blue puzzle. Blue is the color chosen to represent Autism.

Dumb Laws:

Here are some weird laws from around the US and Canada. Some are really old and just have not been taken off the books yet. Others are trivial and unenforceable. But, some of them are often enforced. People do get arrested and fined for some stupid things!
1. In Ohio, it's illegal to get a fish drunk.
2. In Minnesota, it's illegal to have sex with a fish or a bird.
3. In Middleborough, Massachusetts, there's a $20 fine, each offense for swearing in public.
4. In Alaska, it's illegal to get drunk in a bar.
5. Everywhere in the US, it's illegal to sell a drunk person alcohol.
(I was in the Army in Ft. Hood, TX and I was trying to buy a case of beer in the PX. I was really drunk and trying to act sober.
The cashier said, "I can't sell you this because you're drunk."
I said, "No I'm not! Bitch, you better let me get this beer! Come on, don't be stupid!"
She said, "You're drunk! I can smell it on your breath!"
I said, "So what! You better let me get this beer or else we're going to have some problems!"
A friend of mine who was with me and sober came in, told me to calm down and go wait in the car.
She said, "I'll sell it to him, but not you."
I said, What difference does it make? I'm still going to be drinking it you stupid, ugly, **** ***** ****** ******* ***** **** ***!")
6. All over the US and Canada, it's illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
7. In Arkansas, it is illegal to pronounce the name of the state incorrectly.
(Why don't they pass a similar law in Michigan, making it illegal to mispronounce or misspell the word: "MACKINAC". For those who don't live in Michigan, it is pronounced: "Mack-en-aw".
8. In New Orleans, it is illegal to wear a mask at any time of the year, except during Mardi Gras.
(Technically, you aren't even supposed to wear a mask on Halloween.)
9. In Georgia, it's illegal to eat Chicken with a fork! By law, you have to eat it with your fingers!
(People have been arrested for violating this law!)
10. In French Lick, Indiana, Black cats are required to wear a bell around their neck all day on Friday the 13th.
(What a dumb name for a city!)
11. In Maine, it's illegal to post advertisements on another person's tombstone.
12. In Massachusetts, you can't dance to the National Anthem.
13. In Massachusetts, they can't have a "Happy Hour"at bars.
(They should have a "Drown Your Sorrows hour" or a "Sad and Depressed Hour" instead.)
14. In S Carolina, up until 2014, it was illegal to sell alcohol on Election Day. They thought politicians might bribe citizens with free drinks.
(So that's how Obama got elected!)
15. In Arkansas, Underage drinking will get you a fine and in some cases, minors have to write an essay about alcohol.
16. In UT, AZ, CO and OK, it's illegal to collect rain water on your own property or anywhere else.
17. In Oklahoma, it's illegal to Wrestle a Bear.
18. In S. Carolina it's illegal to work or dance on Sunday.
19. California has banned plastic drinking straws.
20. In Ocala, Florida, it's illegal to "sag" your pants.
(There is a $500 fine or 6 months in jail for this!
I wish that were illegal everywhere! Nobody wants to look at your underwear!)
21. In Memphis, Tennessee, homeless people need to get a permit to panhandle.
22. In Galveston, Texas, it's illegal to throw trash out of a plane.
23. In Virginia, no pet Skunks.
24. In Washington State, you get a $1,000 fine for poaching Bigfoot.
(Because, if he really exists, he's an endangered species.)
25. In Michigan, you can't tie an Alligator to a fire hydrant.
Also in Michigan:
You can't paint Sparrows to sell them as Parakeets.
You can't be drunk on a train.
It's illegal in MI to swear around women and children.
(I know some women who should be arrested for that!)

In Canada:

1. You can't swear in French.
(Ach scheisse! (Oh shit! German) I swear in German all the time!)
2. It's illegal to turn Right on a Red light.
3. You do have the right to remain silent and not answer any questions and the right to an Attorney. BUT, you do not have the right to have an Attorney present during questioning.
4.  It's illegal to eat an Oyster if you don't make sure it was treated humanely.
5. It's illegal to consume fake maple syrup.
6. It's illegal to show public affection on Sunday.
7. Businesses must have rails for tying up horses.

Let's all storm Area 51!

WHAT IF YOU DO STORM AREA 51:

What will happen on Sept 20, when people storm Area 51?
There's no way to know for sure what's going to happen. So far, about 2 Million people worldwide have signed up for the raid. I have even signed up, just for fun. I'm not really going to go! However, there's still a lot of time before the event. I'm sure there will be a lot more people signing up before then.
Hypothetically, if 4 Million people sign up and only a quarter of them show up, that's 1 Million people! The Air Force will certainly have a lot more security on that day. They will probably have the police out there, Navy Seals, FBI and a bunch of other people, including the top secret, Men in Black!
If you have enough people there to overpower the Security forces, they will get in the gate. However, that is only the beginning of the journey. The enterence gate is a long ways away from the actual base. Probably about Ten. Miles or more away from any of the buildings! They are not dumb enough to have anything right in front of the gate.
Most people that actually work there are flown in from Las Vegas or other air ports close by. Area 51 is a long, 2 hr and 45 minute drive from Las Vegas.
So, when people do get through the gate, I hope they have a lot of water and desert camouflage. Be prepared to walk very slowly and carefully and be ready to run when you have to. Have something to distract the dogs and wear clothes that will cover up your"heat signature". Be prepared for a very long walk or drive. You will have to travel at least Ten Miles! Probably even more to get to the buildings on the base.
Rumor has it that they have motion detectors, a sisemograph (An instrument used to detect the vibration of earthquakes), satellites in space that can track you, night vision goggles and other ways to detect you.
The penalty for even going through the front gate is about a $600 fine and possible jail time!
But, if you do get past all that and you manage to walk 10 miles or more and get to the buildings, there will be armed guards at the door. They are also taught hand to hand combat in Basic Training.
When you get to the actual buildings, you'll have to choose wisely, because, you will only get to enter ONE building! After that, you will get caught or you'll be so tired that you won't be able to go any further.
Assuming you did get inside the building that has the aliens and UFOs in it, you'd have to act very quickly and grab an Alien and try to start and fly the UFO. Maybe you'll get lucky and the alien will fly it for you. S/he will have to fly it out of the building and way up in the air, so the Air Force won't be able to shoot it down and they will have to fly higher than the Air Force jets can go. Then, hopefully, the radiation from space won't fry you like a microwave!
More than likely, you won't get a UFO, just an Alien who doesn't speak English.
Now, you will have to run under the radar, for lack of a better expression, to get out. That will be another Ten mile walk to get out. This time with an alien that probably will have a GPS tracking device embedded in its skin.
Believe me, I know from experience, it's not fun or easy to walk long distances in the desert! I've been there and done that, in Iraq and the Mojave Desert in California. I never had to walk Ten Miles out there, but, I have walked and ran pretty far out there a few times. I probably would not have been able to walk Ten Miles in the desert any way!
Most people will probably walk Five miles and give up. Some people will get Heat Stroke or Heat Exhaustion, others will get bit by snakes or other animals. Those people will not make it all the way to the aliens.
I will just say that you, the person reading this, actually do make it to the building that has the aliens. I hope you brought bolt cutters, because you will have to cut the lock off the door and quickly run inside. You will be on video and have people chasing you with machine guns, shooting at you the whole time!
Now, inside the building, if you choose the correct door, cut the lock off that and the next door, you will have to get past the motion detectors and video cameras as well as all the human guards inside the room. Then, grab an Alien, refill all your water bottles and very quietly make your escape from that building.
Now, you will be tired and sore from walking in to the base. But, you have to remember exactly where the gate is and how to get there. Walk another 10 or 20 mile journey to get out.
They will have a lot of people looking for you and even several airplanes in the sky searching for you now. You can't hide from their Inferred cameras. Also, part of my military Basic Training was: How to identify a camouflage target. Trust me, they will find you!
But, if you did make it to the gate, they will have razor wire in front of it and armed guards. They will throw teargas at you and 100 police officers, soldiers and airmen will tackle you to the ground or possibly even shoot you! The only way you will be getting out now is in handcuffs, in a police car! They will take you to the hospital in handcuffs. After a Doctor treats your wounds, you will probably spend the rest of your life in a maximum security prison!
Once they take care of you, they will get their alien back and live happily ever after.
Good luck to anyone who actually does try to storm Area 51!

Autism Spectrum Disorders:

A few more Autism facts.
Most Autistic people, but not all:

1. They have trouble reading and understanding: Non-verbal cues. Such as body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc. Not only do they have trouble interpreting other people's body language, but, they often don't show much non-verbal cues, like facial expressions themselves.

2. One of the hardest and most uncomfortable things for them to do is to look somebody in the eyes! Giving another person direct eye contact is very frightening, uncomfortable, difficult and just feels weird.
It took me years to get used to looking people in the eye. When I first started trying to do it, it made me feel sick, rapid heart rate, hard to breath, I felt like vomiting, I had to resist the urge to run away, i was really scared and I actually felt like I was doing something illegal! Fortunately, I don't have that problem anymore.

3. Autistic people and Aspies (A person that has Asperger's) do feel a lot of empathy for other people, they just don't show it very well through verbal and non-verbal language.

4. They are not usually anti-social, they do want to talk to people. They just don't know how, they are uncomfortable approaching new people they don't know, they may of had a lot of bad experiences with people, they don't understand non-verbal language and don't know if it will be safe to approach a specific person.
But, if you make the first move and talk to them first, they will usually want to have somebody to talk to and they might hang out with you all day.

5. No verbal filter. Quite often, they will not know how to sugar coat things. They will not stop and think before they speak. They frequently just come right out and very bluntly say something that, to you, may sound inappropriate. They were not trying to offend anybody, they just didn't know any other way to say what was on their mind. Sometimes they might tell an extremely vulgar joke to somebody who is very religious and everybody in the room hears the joke, they think it's funny, but they don't dare laugh at it, because they don't want to be the one to offend the preacher that is standing next to the person who told the vulgar joke. (I've been there, done that!)

6. Selective Mutism.
If someone with Autism is uncomfortable around a specific person or doesn't know them very well, they might totally ignore that person and refuse to talk to them. This could go on for one day, a few minutes or the rest of their life! Usually, if the Autistic person gets to know the person they're ignoring or they just become more comfortable around them, they will stop doing this.

7. Not everybody with an Autism Spectrum Disorder is really good at Math and Science. They don't all think very logically. Some are more creative.

8.  A lot of Autistic people don't understand jokes. Sometimes if you tell a joke, everyone else will laugh and the Autistic will not laugh, they probably didn't understand the joke and will think about it for a while (Knock knock. Who's there....... What is so funny about knocking on somebody's door?), but they still won't understand it.
Worse yet, they might take the joke literally and think you were actually serious.

9. Literal thinkers. Just like taking a joke seriously, they might take other common expressions literally. If you say: "It's raining cats and dogs, a young kid might not understand that expression. The kid might look out the window and get confused because they don't see any animals falling out of the sky.

10. Blue lights are a sign that you support Autism Awareness. Mar-26-Apr-2, 2018 Is World Autism Awareness Week. April is National Autism Awareness Month. So, from now until April 30th would be a good time to put a Blue light on your porch.

11. Autistic people are often very detail oriented. If you see a car in a parking lot, you will notice that it is a Red, Ford Mustang. They will look at it differently. They might point out some small detail that nobody else can see. They might say: "The paint is chipped on the Right side of the hood."

12. Facial recognition. If an Autistic person sees someone they know and they are at a place where they see that person all the time, they will have no problem recognizing them and they will know exactly who that person is. But, if they go out somewhere else and see that same person somewhere else, they might not recognize them. It's even worse with people they have only known a short period of time.

13. Monotone voice sounds rude. A person with Autism often has a flat tone, pitch, tempo, inflection etc. They might tell you they're excited, happy, sad or anything else,  but, you can't hear it in their voice.
Some of them sound like a robot. Their voice is that flat and monotone. They don't realize it either. Some people accuse them of being rude or disrespectful, but, they are not being disrespectful. They don't realize there is anything unusual about their voice. So please don't let that bother you.

14. Multitasking. Most people with Autism Spectrum Disorders  (ASD) have a hard time multitasking. They may be able to handle doing two things at the same time, but, they will have trouble concentrating on both tasks.  Most of their attention will be focused on one of the two things.  They will forget about the other. Throw in a third task and forget it! They will probably not get all three things done at the same time!

15. Driving is a big problem for a lot of Autistics. Some people have Autism or a related disorder. They are 25 years old and still don't have a driver's license! They don't want it and are not ready.  They don't feel safe behind the wheel or whatever their reason is.
When they do start to drive, they often will never figure out exactly how to drive a stick shift properly and safely, without having any problems.  That requires a lot of multitasking.  You have to do everything with perfect timing and concentrate on too many things at the same time.  It is too difficult and a waste of time! Just keep it simple, get an automatic transmission,  you simply step on the gas and don't  concentrate any of that unnecessary, waste of time shifting!

16. Stimming: This includes things like, rocking back and forth or sideways, hand flapping, humming or fidgeting with an object, such as a pencil, toys or whatever they can find. This is one reason why Fidget Spinners were invented. They can help with stimming and fidgeting. (Please don't try to stop a child from stimming. It helps to keep them calm and prevent them from having a meltdown.)

17. Forgetfulness: Albert Einstein had Asperger's. Although, he was very smart and his IQ score was 160, he was very forgetful. People with Autism Spectrum Disorders often tend to be very smart, but, sometimes very forgetful. New Scientific and Psychological research has shown that most extremely intelligent people seem to be very forgetful.

18. Straight A students. If you notice when your kid is in elementary school, they don't have to study very hard and they are always getting straight As and Bs, that is a sign of Autism. It doesn't necessarily mean the kid is Autistic, it's just one symptom of Autism.

19. Intense interest or almost an obsession with a limited amount of things.
For some people with Asperger's and Autism, they might love Math, Chemistry, Physics, Dogs, Dinosaurs, cars or or other things.
Myself, I've always loved Astronomy, UFOs, planets and other things Astronomy related.
Also, ironically, I have always loved jokes. (Ironic, because, most Aspies don't understand Jokes very well. But, I've never had that problem.)

20. Less imaginative play. Some Autistic kids can be very imaginative. But, a lot of them are less imaginative and creative than other kids. They may choose to play games that are more simplistic and not as creative. They may require less imagination and be just logical and sometimes simple games.
They may be too much of a logical and straight to the point thinker. Or they might be too shy to want to join in a game that requires more creativity.
(I had that problem when I was younger. I was usually very creative, but, too shy to suggest a more creative game or join others in the creative games they were playing.)

21. Less interested in sports than most people seem to be. Autistic people often tend to be more independent and less team oriented. Other team members just get in the way. Aspies often choose games that are not team oriented games, such as Golf. There's no team, you don't have to wait for someone else to throw you the ball. Nobody can throw the ball to a dozen other players, etc. They prefer to take all the credit for the game and don't want other people getting in their way.
Autistic people often get bored watching sports. They don't understand the games or how and why people can sit there and watch them for a long time.
(I have had several friends who loved sports. I didn't understand that. However, in the Army, everybody hung out in one guys room in the barracks when any sport came on that they liked, especially: Wrestling and Football. If I wanted to hang out with my friends, I had to go suffer through the sports, just to hang out with everybody.)

22. Writing: Most people with Asperger's and Autism are more logical and less creative. They are usually better at Math and Science than they are at Creative writing. If they do get into writing at all, they are usually better at writing research papers, newspaper articles and Scientific reports rather than writing creative, fictional stories.
(Myself, I've done all of the above. I've written newspaper articles, fictional stories and as you can see here, Scientific and Psychological research reports. Writing has always been one of my strong points and something I enjoy.)

How to pull a good prank.

How to pull a good prank:

1. Select a good victim. Make sure it is a person who can take a joke. Some people are just stupid
ass holes who have

no sense of humor. These people just can’t take a 
Joke, these people might try to sue or even kill 
somebody just for a joke!

2. Think of a good prank. Use common sense and make sure it is something safe and harmless for 

everyone

involved. You don’t want to injure yourself or the other person just by 
pulling a joke. Make sure 

what you are

doing is legal. People do occasionally end up in 

jail because they pulled a prank and did 

something illegal!

Don’t get too carried away with the joke and 

scare somebody into thinking that you are

injured in some way.

(I knew a guy who pretended he was 

choking while he was eating. Someone gave 

him the

Heimlich maneuver. It didn’t work. So 

someone called 911. Then the prankster

started laughing and said it

was a joke! Then the police and ambulance 

showed up. That guy had a lot of explaining

to do and the police

were not very happy with him! For that 

reason, I will not fake a medical emergency

for a prank.)

3. Decide if or not you want an accomplice. It is

usually best to work alone and not tell anyone 
else about your

pranks. Because, the other person might have a 

big mouth and tell the intended victim what you 

are doing. Then the joke won’t work or you might just get someone else 
with your joke. 

4.  Make sure you have all the supplies you need 

when you need them.

5.   Plan things out ahead of time. Know when andwhere you want to do
 this. It is best to set things 
up when your 

victim is not around. How much money are you 

going to spend on the prank. Do you want anyone to help you with it. 

6. Make sure the joke you are going to pull is safe and appropriate for the 
place you are at and it 
will not cause any

problems for you or anyone else. For example: At work, you don’t want to make a big mess or 
damage any company equipment.

(In the Army, I pulled a few jokes. I Googled April Fools jokes and found a 
bunch of good ones. 
However, there

was one I didn’t do while I was in Iraq, because it would have scared everybody too much. That wasputting a balloon on the back of the tire of a 
vehicle. When someone backs the vehicle up, the balloon pops and makes a

loud bang. The person driving will usually think 
they have a flat tire. But, since I was in a war zonepeople reacted

differently when they heard something go bang. Itwould have scared everybody pretty badly and 
somebody might have even started shooting at 
anything that moved!)

7. Set thins up Quietly and discretely. Make sure 
your victim is not around. If you are pranking a 
coworker, the best time to do this is on their day 
off, then you can be sure they will not see you and hopefully no one else will tell them who the 
prankster is either.

8. If you don’t want the victim to find out that you are the one pulling the 
joke, don’t be the one 
laughing the loudest.

Don’t let them see you watching them all day and don’t act like you are just waiting for something tohappen.

Otherwise, that will show the victim that you are probably the one who didit. If you are too excited and laughing too much, you might just have to 
walk away and laugh somewhere else. If they 
can’t see you laugh, they can’t use it against you.

9. Be prepared for retaliation! If the victim ever 
figures out it was you who pulled the prank, they are going to get you! Be
ready for them to prank you!

A few good pranks to get you started:

1. Prank calls. (Dial a random number and say: 
“Hello, is your refrigerator running? Well, you 
better go catch it!)

Don’t do this one, unless you can block caller ID!

2. Tape a balloon to the back of someones tire. 
When they back up and run over the tire, it will 
pop and the driver will think they have a flat tire.

(As I mentioned before, don’t do this if you are 
in the military and in a combat zone. Also, don’t do it to someone who 
has PTSD. This could trigger flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms.)

3. Tie all the chairs together under the tables in
the office. People won’t be able to pull out the 
chairs.

4. Get a glow in the dark, neon necklace. Make 
sure the necklace is glowing and form it into a 
circle. Put the necklace around a black, Helium 
filled balloon. Release the balloon into the air late at night down town in a big city where you are 
sure a lot of people will see it. A bunch of people will call in to the airport 
to report a UFO sighting! Make sure you don’t get caught doing this, 
because you could get arrested for it!

5. Ding Dong Ditch. Go up to a house, ring the doorbell or just knock on the door and either hide in 
the bushes

and watch them answer the door or just run 
away. 

6. Rearrange all the letters on the keyboard of 
their computer. If the victim doesn’t know how to type without

looking at the keys, this will really mess them up!

7. Tell the victim to look for something that really doesn’t even exist. In the 
Army, we sent new 
Privates to “grease muffler bearings on the 
trucks”. Mufflers don’t have bearings! But they 
still spent a long time attempting to grease them!

8. Call someplace that delivers pizza. Order 
several pizzas and have them delivered to your 
victim. Make sure you order nothing but 
Anchovies on the pizzas!

9. Call the number: 867-5309. When someone answers, ask if you can speak to JENNY. (Remember the song from the 1980s? If not, you can look it up on YouTube.)

Use the old classics: Fake rat, Rubber cockroach,

fake vomit, woopie cushion, etc.

New to Blogging.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

New to blogging. Hello everyone.
My name is David. I am originally from Michigan. I got tired of the cold weather so I moved to Florida. I now live in Cocoa, FL.I was in the US Army for Seven years. I was stationed in Ft. Hood, TX and Mannheim, Germany. I also served one year in Iraq. I was a Truck Driver in the Army. Some of my biggest interests include: Cats, telling jokes, writing and Astronomy.