Idioms that Autistic people may not understand:

IDIOMS THAT PEOPLE WITH AUTISM AND ASPERGER'S MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND:

Children and even some adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders might not understand some of the expressions people use everyday.
One common characteristic of Autism Spectrum Disorders is a tendency to take things literally.
Interpreting things literally has actually helped me understand jokes and even write a few of my own original jokes.
Most people with Asperger's don't understand jokes very well. However, I am an exception. I have always been good at telling and understanding jokes.
If you have an Aspie (Someone with Asperger's) kid, you should avoid using these expressions, because they might not understand them or, worse yet, they could take them literally:
1. Raining cats and dogs.
Pouring rain.
The kid might get confused when they look out the window and they don't see any animals falling out of the sky.
2. This is a "Drill". Or, I am going to "drill" you on Math.
To give someone or a group of people a test.
The kid might think you're going to go to the garage, grab the drill and drill a hole in their head!
3. You hit the nail on the head.
To answer a question perfectly, exactly right.
They may get confused, because they are not using a hammer and pounding a metal nail into wood.
4. You bit off more than you can chew.
Trying to take on too many responsibilities at once.
5. You just opened a big can of worms.
Cause a serious problem.
6. I see the light.
To suddenly understand something you had trouble understanding before.
7. What's up?
It even took me a long time to figure this one out! I now realize it's just some people's way of saying: "Hello, how are you doing?"
That one confused me for a long time! I never knew how to answer that. Then, I listened to how other people responded to it. I learned that, it's not meant to be a question and people don't expect you to answer it. It's just another way to say hello. The only response people expect to that "question" is: Hi, how ya' doin'". They don't expect you to stop and talk most of the time. But, it took me a long time to figure that one out!
8. Stoned.
Meaning: High from drugs.
It took me a while to figure this one out to. I always thought it meant: To throw rocks at someone. Although, I was correct, that is only One definition of the word. The other definition, High, is also correct.
9. I have a "Lead Foot".
To drive a car really fast.
10. "Keep an eye on this".
To watch over and protect something from theft or damage.
An Autistic kid might literally, take the item you want them to guard, pick it up, put it up to their face and hold it against their eyes.
11. Arrest.
To stop something from moving.
If you use this word around an Autistic kid, they might run and hide, because they might think the police are coming to take them to jail!

Similarities between Asperger's and other disorders.

What does Asperger's have in common with other disorders?
Asperger's and Autism are frequently misdiagnosed and confused with other disorders, including:
ADHD
OCD
Schizophrenia
Just to name a few.
A few things these disorders have in common with Asperger's include:
ADHD:
Fidgeting.
Having trouble sitting quietly or sitting still.
Having trouble taking turns or waiting for their turn.
Frequently interrupting others.
Act or speak without thinking.
Struggle with following instructions.
Problems with being forgetful.
Ability to hyperfocus (often getting distracted and hyperfocusing on the wrong thing).
People with ADHD are more than 2x more likely to attempt suicide. People with Asperger's are more than 20 times more likely to attempt suicide than people without the disorder!
People often don't trust people with ADHD or Asperger's and people with these disorders have a hard time trusting other people.
Poor organization skills. Frequently losing things.
Not good at time management.
Anger outbursts.
A lot of people with either one of the disorders really love cats.

OCD:
Unwanted, intrusive thoughts.
Following a routine.
Obsessive hand washing.
Checking doors repeatedly to make sure they are locked.
Checking the stove to make sure it's off.

Schizophrenia:
Delusional thinking.
Easily agitated.
Lack of emotional expressions.
Phobias.
Acting inappropriately for the current situation. (Ex: Feeling sad, but smiling. Laughing at a funeral or showing no emotion or facial expression.)
Lack of pleasure or interest in things.
Little desire for social interactions.
Much higher risk of attempting suicide (About 10% of Schizophrenics attempt suicide).
People with Paranoid Schizophrenia often act aggressive and impulsive (Those traits are not as common in other types of Schizophrenia).
Stimming (Ex. Hand flapping, rocking back and forth, etc).

Asperger's:
Lack of social awareness (Not picking up on nonverbal cues. Not showing normal body language, facial expressions or tone of voice.
Also, not being able to pick up on other people's nonverbal body language, facial expressions, etc).
Unusual speech patterns.
(Monotone voice, speaking too loudly, more advanced vocabulary than most people their age,trouble comprehending figurative language, literal interpretation of things. "For example: Raining cats and dogs." They might think there is literally animals falling out of the sky.)
One sided conversations. (They don't let the other person talk as much as they do. Only want to talk about things they like.)
Resistance to change.
They appear to lack empathy. Sometimes they are truly not very empathetic. But, usually they are very empathetic, they just don't show it very well, because, they don't show facial expressions and body language very well. They also don't show the normal tone of voice for the situation. They often have monotone voices.
Easily overstimulated by noise, light, heat and cold).
Limited, intense interests on only a few subjects. Like, Outer Space, Dinosaurs, Math or cars.
Lack of eye contact. They have a very hard time looking people in the eyes. It is a phobia for them.
Sometimes staring at people or objects.
Difficulty making friends and keeping them.
A lot of kids have delayed motor skill development.
Isolation or minimal interaction in social situations.
Inability to understand and recognize: Humor, jokes, irony and sarcasm.
Problems expressing empathy, controlling emotions and communicating feelings.
Meltdowns.
Sometimes hyperactive.
Overstimulated senses.
A lot of people on the Autism spectrum love cats and dogs.
Have problems multitasking.
Often very smart with high IQ scores.
(Einstein and Bill Gates are suspected of having Asperger's. Bill Gates went to Harvard. Both of them had IQ scores of: 160, geniuses.)
Detail oriented. They notice fine details and not the big picture.
Can recognize patterns in things.
More than 20 times more likely to attempt suicide.
Clumsiness.
Stimming.
Able to hyperfocus on things.
Not big on team sports. Really not big fans of any sports at all. However, they'd rather play individual sports, that don't involve a team, like Golf.
Suffer from Depression and Anxiety.
Less trusting of people.
Have serious problems driving a manual transmission vehicle. They need to get an automatic transmission.
They often have problems finding and keeping a job.

More boys are diagnosed with Asperger's and Autism than girls.
It is difficult for Psychologists to test for Autism.
Most people are diagnosed when they are much older. (I was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 40.)
Someone who has Asperger's is often called an "Aspie".
Fidget Spinners are good for people with Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Asperger's is now referred to as an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Asperger's is no longer listed in the DSM manual.
People often have Two or more psychological disorders, such as: Asperger's and ADHD. This is known as: "Comorbid disorders".
Autism is represented by a puzzle. Because, it is a "puzzling disorder". There are so many symptoms. Nobody has literally all the symptoms. No Two people with the disorder are exactly alike. It is very puzzling and confusing to both people who have it and people that don't. It's usually a Blue puzzle. Blue is the color chosen to represent Autism.

How to pull a good prank.

How to pull a good prank:

1. Select a good victim. Make sure it is a person who can take a joke. Some people are just stupid
ass holes who have

no sense of humor. These people just can’t take a 
Joke, these people might try to sue or even kill 
somebody just for a joke!

2. Think of a good prank. Use common sense and make sure it is something safe and harmless for 

everyone

involved. You don’t want to injure yourself or the other person just by 
pulling a joke. Make sure 

what you are

doing is legal. People do occasionally end up in 

jail because they pulled a prank and did 

something illegal!

Don’t get too carried away with the joke and 

scare somebody into thinking that you are

injured in some way.

(I knew a guy who pretended he was 

choking while he was eating. Someone gave 

him the

Heimlich maneuver. It didn’t work. So 

someone called 911. Then the prankster

started laughing and said it

was a joke! Then the police and ambulance 

showed up. That guy had a lot of explaining

to do and the police

were not very happy with him! For that 

reason, I will not fake a medical emergency

for a prank.)

3. Decide if or not you want an accomplice. It is

usually best to work alone and not tell anyone 
else about your

pranks. Because, the other person might have a 

big mouth and tell the intended victim what you 

are doing. Then the joke won’t work or you might just get someone else 
with your joke. 

4.  Make sure you have all the supplies you need 

when you need them.

5.   Plan things out ahead of time. Know when andwhere you want to do
 this. It is best to set things 
up when your 

victim is not around. How much money are you 

going to spend on the prank. Do you want anyone to help you with it. 

6. Make sure the joke you are going to pull is safe and appropriate for the 
place you are at and it 
will not cause any

problems for you or anyone else. For example: At work, you don’t want to make a big mess or 
damage any company equipment.

(In the Army, I pulled a few jokes. I Googled April Fools jokes and found a 
bunch of good ones. 
However, there

was one I didn’t do while I was in Iraq, because it would have scared everybody too much. That wasputting a balloon on the back of the tire of a 
vehicle. When someone backs the vehicle up, the balloon pops and makes a

loud bang. The person driving will usually think 
they have a flat tire. But, since I was in a war zonepeople reacted

differently when they heard something go bang. Itwould have scared everybody pretty badly and 
somebody might have even started shooting at 
anything that moved!)

7. Set thins up Quietly and discretely. Make sure 
your victim is not around. If you are pranking a 
coworker, the best time to do this is on their day 
off, then you can be sure they will not see you and hopefully no one else will tell them who the 
prankster is either.

8. If you don’t want the victim to find out that you are the one pulling the 
joke, don’t be the one 
laughing the loudest.

Don’t let them see you watching them all day and don’t act like you are just waiting for something tohappen.

Otherwise, that will show the victim that you are probably the one who didit. If you are too excited and laughing too much, you might just have to 
walk away and laugh somewhere else. If they 
can’t see you laugh, they can’t use it against you.

9. Be prepared for retaliation! If the victim ever 
figures out it was you who pulled the prank, they are going to get you! Be
ready for them to prank you!

A few good pranks to get you started:

1. Prank calls. (Dial a random number and say: 
“Hello, is your refrigerator running? Well, you 
better go catch it!)

Don’t do this one, unless you can block caller ID!

2. Tape a balloon to the back of someones tire. 
When they back up and run over the tire, it will 
pop and the driver will think they have a flat tire.

(As I mentioned before, don’t do this if you are 
in the military and in a combat zone. Also, don’t do it to someone who 
has PTSD. This could trigger flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms.)

3. Tie all the chairs together under the tables in
the office. People won’t be able to pull out the 
chairs.

4. Get a glow in the dark, neon necklace. Make 
sure the necklace is glowing and form it into a 
circle. Put the necklace around a black, Helium 
filled balloon. Release the balloon into the air late at night down town in a big city where you are 
sure a lot of people will see it. A bunch of people will call in to the airport 
to report a UFO sighting! Make sure you don’t get caught doing this, 
because you could get arrested for it!

5. Ding Dong Ditch. Go up to a house, ring the doorbell or just knock on the door and either hide in 
the bushes

and watch them answer the door or just run 
away. 

6. Rearrange all the letters on the keyboard of 
their computer. If the victim doesn’t know how to type without

looking at the keys, this will really mess them up!

7. Tell the victim to look for something that really doesn’t even exist. In the 
Army, we sent new 
Privates to “grease muffler bearings on the 
trucks”. Mufflers don’t have bearings! But they 
still spent a long time attempting to grease them!

8. Call someplace that delivers pizza. Order 
several pizzas and have them delivered to your 
victim. Make sure you order nothing but 
Anchovies on the pizzas!

9. Call the number: 867-5309. When someone answers, ask if you can speak to JENNY. (Remember the song from the 1980s? If not, you can look it up on YouTube.)

Use the old classics: Fake rat, Rubber cockroach,

fake vomit, woopie cushion, etc.