Let's all storm Area 51!

WHAT IF YOU DO STORM AREA 51:

What will happen on Sept 20, when people storm Area 51?
There's no way to know for sure what's going to happen. So far, about 2 Million people worldwide have signed up for the raid. I have even signed up, just for fun. I'm not really going to go! However, there's still a lot of time before the event. I'm sure there will be a lot more people signing up before then.
Hypothetically, if 4 Million people sign up and only a quarter of them show up, that's 1 Million people! The Air Force will certainly have a lot more security on that day. They will probably have the police out there, Navy Seals, FBI and a bunch of other people, including the top secret, Men in Black!
If you have enough people there to overpower the Security forces, they will get in the gate. However, that is only the beginning of the journey. The enterence gate is a long ways away from the actual base. Probably about Ten. Miles or more away from any of the buildings! They are not dumb enough to have anything right in front of the gate.
Most people that actually work there are flown in from Las Vegas or other air ports close by. Area 51 is a long, 2 hr and 45 minute drive from Las Vegas.
So, when people do get through the gate, I hope they have a lot of water and desert camouflage. Be prepared to walk very slowly and carefully and be ready to run when you have to. Have something to distract the dogs and wear clothes that will cover up your"heat signature". Be prepared for a very long walk or drive. You will have to travel at least Ten Miles! Probably even more to get to the buildings on the base.
Rumor has it that they have motion detectors, a sisemograph (An instrument used to detect the vibration of earthquakes), satellites in space that can track you, night vision goggles and other ways to detect you.
The penalty for even going through the front gate is about a $600 fine and possible jail time!
But, if you do get past all that and you manage to walk 10 miles or more and get to the buildings, there will be armed guards at the door. They are also taught hand to hand combat in Basic Training.
When you get to the actual buildings, you'll have to choose wisely, because, you will only get to enter ONE building! After that, you will get caught or you'll be so tired that you won't be able to go any further.
Assuming you did get inside the building that has the aliens and UFOs in it, you'd have to act very quickly and grab an Alien and try to start and fly the UFO. Maybe you'll get lucky and the alien will fly it for you. S/he will have to fly it out of the building and way up in the air, so the Air Force won't be able to shoot it down and they will have to fly higher than the Air Force jets can go. Then, hopefully, the radiation from space won't fry you like a microwave!
More than likely, you won't get a UFO, just an Alien who doesn't speak English.
Now, you will have to run under the radar, for lack of a better expression, to get out. That will be another Ten mile walk to get out. This time with an alien that probably will have a GPS tracking device embedded in its skin.
Believe me, I know from experience, it's not fun or easy to walk long distances in the desert! I've been there and done that, in Iraq and the Mojave Desert in California. I never had to walk Ten Miles out there, but, I have walked and ran pretty far out there a few times. I probably would not have been able to walk Ten Miles in the desert any way!
Most people will probably walk Five miles and give up. Some people will get Heat Stroke or Heat Exhaustion, others will get bit by snakes or other animals. Those people will not make it all the way to the aliens.
I will just say that you, the person reading this, actually do make it to the building that has the aliens. I hope you brought bolt cutters, because you will have to cut the lock off the door and quickly run inside. You will be on video and have people chasing you with machine guns, shooting at you the whole time!
Now, inside the building, if you choose the correct door, cut the lock off that and the next door, you will have to get past the motion detectors and video cameras as well as all the human guards inside the room. Then, grab an Alien, refill all your water bottles and very quietly make your escape from that building.
Now, you will be tired and sore from walking in to the base. But, you have to remember exactly where the gate is and how to get there. Walk another 10 or 20 mile journey to get out.
They will have a lot of people looking for you and even several airplanes in the sky searching for you now. You can't hide from their Inferred cameras. Also, part of my military Basic Training was: How to identify a camouflage target. Trust me, they will find you!
But, if you did make it to the gate, they will have razor wire in front of it and armed guards. They will throw teargas at you and 100 police officers, soldiers and airmen will tackle you to the ground or possibly even shoot you! The only way you will be getting out now is in handcuffs, in a police car! They will take you to the hospital in handcuffs. After a Doctor treats your wounds, you will probably spend the rest of your life in a maximum security prison!
Once they take care of you, they will get their alien back and live happily ever after.
Good luck to anyone who actually does try to storm Area 51!

The origin of the word: "SNIPER".

Sniper:
Years ago, up until the 1800s, there was a species of bird called a Snipe. Yes, there actually was a bird called a Snipe.
Hunters back then had a single shot Musket. They could fire only one shot, then it took a few minutes to reload.
If these birds saw or heard any signs of danger or people out hunting them, they wouldn't land and if they were on the ground, they would get up and fly away and they would not come back for a really long time.
A person who who hunted Snipe was referred to as a: "Sniper".
The term sniper is still used in law enforcement and military today.
The Sniper had to hide really well in the woods so these birds would not see them and fly away.
Snipers in the Army today say, "One shot one kill". That's one of their mottos.
This was true for a Snipe Hunter back then to, he only had one shot. If he didn't shoot the bird with that one shot, his day of hunting was over.
Today, most Species of Snipe, possibly even all of them are extinct. If there are any left, they are highly endangered.
In Boy Scouts, they have a joke that the really dumb People fall for. They take someone on a Snipe hunt. They give that person a bag and walk far out into the woods. Then, the prankster tells the idiot, "You wait here, I'll run over here into the bushes and Chase out the Snipes. When you see them running out, take the bag and catch the Snipe in the bag.
The victim is anxiously waiting to see a bunch of Snipe come running out of the bushes hoping he can catch at least one.
But, the prankster very quiet sneak away and goes back to camp. He just wait to see how long it takes before the victim figures out that he has literally been
"Left holding the bag"! This is also the how we got that Expression.

My revenge!

I have gotten revenge on a lot of people.
Most notably, Two former Teachers. One from 4th grade and the other from 7th grade. I thought for years about what I was going to do to those stupid Teachers. Finally, when I got my driver's license and I was able to go do things on my own and nobody would know what I was doing, I went on a recon mission. I found these Teacher's addresses and phone numbers in the phone book. Then I headed out to gain all the information I could get on the Teachers that I hated.
I drove past their houses, thinking I could come back and toilet paper them or something.
Unfortunately, booth houses were in neighborhoods where the houses were really close together and there were a lot of houses around and there was a lot of light!   I think one of them or one of their neighbors had a dog running around outside. So, vandalizing their houses, slashing their car tires, dumping poison on their grass, breaking the windows on their houses and cars and other things like that, which I was considering doing, those were no longer options. ☹️
I spent the next month planning.
I considered Everything you could possibly think of, hiding in the woods a half mile away and "Sniping them off" when they walked out the door, just like a military sniper. I thought about getting other people involved and having them do my dirty work. That was too risky. Why would you tell someone that you are going to harm another person or seek revenge on somebody! I didn't want any witnesses!
This was before we had the Internet. So, I went to the book store and got a few books about REVENGE.
I did some research and talked to some friends. I didn't tell anyone what I was up to, I didn't tell anyone that I was planning my revenge. But, I just casually asked what they've done to seek revenge. Some people had some good stories.
Ultimately, I ended up going back to the bookstore. I got a newspaper, which is the only thing I bought. The newspaper wasn't important, I just needed something to put order forms in from magazines.
I looked at ALL the magazines and took the order forms out of every magazine I could find. I stuck the order forms inside the newspaper. Then, I paid for the newspaper and left.
I had order forms from every magazine you can think of, from Sesame Street to Play Boy and everything in between! I had Newsweek, Time, Detroit Free Press, New York Times, Sports Illustrated, Penthouse, Playboy, Playgirl, medical magazines, Army Times, High Times,
Homosexual magazines, religious magazines, etc, etc, etc!
I probably had order forms from over 50 different magazines.
Now, I was ready for phase one of my plan.
I spent a long time filling out order forms in these Teacher's names!
I sent all those order forms, I didn't stop there, every time I found another magazine, at home, school, at someone else's house, in the store, anywhere, I grabbed the order forms out of it and filled them out in these Teacher's names! That was so much fun!
Phase 2, kicking them when their down.
Then, I called the local newspapers for my home town of: Grand Ledge, MI and the surrounding cities of: Lansing, Charlotte, Portland, Mulliken, Westphalia and a few other cities within a 35 mile radius. I put adds in all of those newspapers saying that their houses were for sale! I also said they had some really nice cars for sale at very ridiculously low prices. I put some other adds in the paper with their names on them to. I also put in the adds: "Please call between: 9:00-11:00 PM!"
On to phase 3 of my revenge. Adding insult to injury!
Late at night, I drove past both houses. I blasted my radio, spun my tires, screamed obcenities out the window, blew a really loud whistle, threw firecrackers, launched bottle rockets at their houses, threw glass bottles in their driveway, threw trash in their yard and made sure, I ruined their night of sleep! I also made a mess in their yards and put broken glass on their driveways!
Phase 4, The final assault.
I called them at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes I called them at home and sometimes at work.
I called the school office and said I need to talk to Mr Johnson and Mrs Smith (Not their real names).
The school secretary would usually say, "They are teaching their class now, can I take a message?"
I said, "It's urgent!"
They called the Teacher to the office to take the call.
When the Teacher picked up the phone, I have an evil, psychotic laugh and hung up!
Then, I called in the middle of the night and in the evening and on the weekend, when I knew they'd be home. I'd usually just hang up. But, one time I called and said to them both, "I know where you live! I know where you work! I know what your car looks like! You usually park in the same spot at work! To leave at the same time for work every day! I've been watching you! I hate you! I'm going to get you!!!! You're a stupid, worthless piece of shit!"
Both of them sounded really scared now!
Both of their responses were about the same.
In a really scared sounding voice, they said, "Who is this? Why are you harassing me!"
I said, "I'm your worse nightmare! Someone you should of never *?&$#@ with!" You've pissed off the wrong person! Because I hate you now and I'm going to get you!" Have a nice day!" Then I laughed some more and hung up!
That's probably the only time I ever said anything to them on the phone. The rest of the time, I either just gave them an evil laugh or just hung up the phone.
Keep in mind, this was before caller ID existed.
For a few years after I finished my revenge, I still continued to send them more magazines anytime I found one that I hadn't sent them yet! That was just for a little extra fun.
Keep in mind, these were the worst People I have ever met in my life and they were psychotic, mean to students and other people in general and sorry ass excuses for human beings! They really should be sitting in prison for the rest of their lives!

(BTW: I didn't smash their mailboxes or spray paint their houses. Those are pictures of someone else's revenge!)

How to pull a good prank.

How to pull a good prank:

1. Select a good victim. Make sure it is a person who can take a joke. Some people are just stupid
ass holes who have

no sense of humor. These people just can’t take a 
Joke, these people might try to sue or even kill 
somebody just for a joke!

2. Think of a good prank. Use common sense and make sure it is something safe and harmless for 

everyone

involved. You don’t want to injure yourself or the other person just by 
pulling a joke. Make sure 

what you are

doing is legal. People do occasionally end up in 

jail because they pulled a prank and did 

something illegal!

Don’t get too carried away with the joke and 

scare somebody into thinking that you are

injured in some way.

(I knew a guy who pretended he was 

choking while he was eating. Someone gave 

him the

Heimlich maneuver. It didn’t work. So 

someone called 911. Then the prankster

started laughing and said it

was a joke! Then the police and ambulance 

showed up. That guy had a lot of explaining

to do and the police

were not very happy with him! For that 

reason, I will not fake a medical emergency

for a prank.)

3. Decide if or not you want an accomplice. It is

usually best to work alone and not tell anyone 
else about your

pranks. Because, the other person might have a 

big mouth and tell the intended victim what you 

are doing. Then the joke won’t work or you might just get someone else 
with your joke. 

4.  Make sure you have all the supplies you need 

when you need them.

5.   Plan things out ahead of time. Know when andwhere you want to do
 this. It is best to set things 
up when your 

victim is not around. How much money are you 

going to spend on the prank. Do you want anyone to help you with it. 

6. Make sure the joke you are going to pull is safe and appropriate for the 
place you are at and it 
will not cause any

problems for you or anyone else. For example: At work, you don’t want to make a big mess or 
damage any company equipment.

(In the Army, I pulled a few jokes. I Googled April Fools jokes and found a 
bunch of good ones. 
However, there

was one I didn’t do while I was in Iraq, because it would have scared everybody too much. That wasputting a balloon on the back of the tire of a 
vehicle. When someone backs the vehicle up, the balloon pops and makes a

loud bang. The person driving will usually think 
they have a flat tire. But, since I was in a war zonepeople reacted

differently when they heard something go bang. Itwould have scared everybody pretty badly and 
somebody might have even started shooting at 
anything that moved!)

7. Set thins up Quietly and discretely. Make sure 
your victim is not around. If you are pranking a 
coworker, the best time to do this is on their day 
off, then you can be sure they will not see you and hopefully no one else will tell them who the 
prankster is either.

8. If you don’t want the victim to find out that you are the one pulling the 
joke, don’t be the one 
laughing the loudest.

Don’t let them see you watching them all day and don’t act like you are just waiting for something tohappen.

Otherwise, that will show the victim that you are probably the one who didit. If you are too excited and laughing too much, you might just have to 
walk away and laugh somewhere else. If they 
can’t see you laugh, they can’t use it against you.

9. Be prepared for retaliation! If the victim ever 
figures out it was you who pulled the prank, they are going to get you! Be
ready for them to prank you!

A few good pranks to get you started:

1. Prank calls. (Dial a random number and say: 
“Hello, is your refrigerator running? Well, you 
better go catch it!)

Don’t do this one, unless you can block caller ID!

2. Tape a balloon to the back of someones tire. 
When they back up and run over the tire, it will 
pop and the driver will think they have a flat tire.

(As I mentioned before, don’t do this if you are 
in the military and in a combat zone. Also, don’t do it to someone who 
has PTSD. This could trigger flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms.)

3. Tie all the chairs together under the tables in
the office. People won’t be able to pull out the 
chairs.

4. Get a glow in the dark, neon necklace. Make 
sure the necklace is glowing and form it into a 
circle. Put the necklace around a black, Helium 
filled balloon. Release the balloon into the air late at night down town in a big city where you are 
sure a lot of people will see it. A bunch of people will call in to the airport 
to report a UFO sighting! Make sure you don’t get caught doing this, 
because you could get arrested for it!

5. Ding Dong Ditch. Go up to a house, ring the doorbell or just knock on the door and either hide in 
the bushes

and watch them answer the door or just run 
away. 

6. Rearrange all the letters on the keyboard of 
their computer. If the victim doesn’t know how to type without

looking at the keys, this will really mess them up!

7. Tell the victim to look for something that really doesn’t even exist. In the 
Army, we sent new 
Privates to “grease muffler bearings on the 
trucks”. Mufflers don’t have bearings! But they 
still spent a long time attempting to grease them!

8. Call someplace that delivers pizza. Order 
several pizzas and have them delivered to your 
victim. Make sure you order nothing but 
Anchovies on the pizzas!

9. Call the number: 867-5309. When someone answers, ask if you can speak to JENNY. (Remember the song from the 1980s? If not, you can look it up on YouTube.)

Use the old classics: Fake rat, Rubber cockroach,

fake vomit, woopie cushion, etc.