If you're talking to somebody and they seem to be uncomfortable giving you direct eye contact, they might appear to be rude. But, trust me, they have no intention of being rude or disrespectful in any way at all. They are just not good at looking people in the eyes, they are very uncomfortable with it or even scared. They might experience anxiety from it. They might get so scared that they feel like running away when they look you in the eye! Sometimes young children will literally try to run away and hide or even have a meltdown or panic attack if they try looking into someone's eyes for too long or if you try to force them to look into yours or someone else's eyes! Just keep one thing in mind: This is absolutely 100% normal behavior for people with Asperger's or most other Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Not all aspies have this symptom, but most of them do. Just remember, DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS!!! Because most people with Asperger's can't help it and it is a very serious phobia that aspies have!
Here is my story of how I learned to get over my fear of looking people in the eyes. It took a very long time and it was not easy! But, now I am able to do it. It is still hard to do and sometimes a little scaredy for me to do and I'll probably never be perfect at it.
I have trouble with making eye contact, but, I can do it now. It took me years to learn how to look people in the eyes. When I first started to learn how to give eye contact, for the first few months, it was so awkward for me to do it, I was very uncomfortable, scared, I felt like I was doing something wrong, or even breaking the law! I sometimes started to panic and hyperventilate a little bit! I had a hard time speaking. I could only stand to look into people's eyes for maybe 10 seconds at a time, then I had to look away for a few seconds, then return to their eyes. Sometimes I had to look at their forehead, eyebrows or nose.
If I was talking to a Teacher, Bar Tender or someone else who probably wouldn't be talking to me if their job didn't require it, it was easier, but still not EASY, just a little easier and still awkward and uncomfortable to give them eye contact.
Cashiers in a grocery store, I was forced to be really close to that person, close enough to hand them money. It was uncomfortable, but the two things that made it easier were the fact that, I didn't know that person most of the time and I only had to deal with them for a few short minutes and I left and got to return to the safety of being alone for a while. Another thing that helped me to deal with cashiers, is the fact that there was some sort of a barrier between me and them. Usually the conveyer belt where you put your groceries.
What was much worse was when I was talking to an attractive female. The more attractive I thought she was, the harder it was for me to look her in the eyes or talk to her.
When I first started to learn how to look people in the eyes, it was one of the hardest and most uncomfortable things I've ever had to learn to do. I felt like I was doing something wrong. It even made me feel sick. But, after a few months of working on it, those feelings went away. I was able to do it more easily.
I've been working on my ability to give people eye contact for probably 20 years now! It's still not easy and, I can't give anybody full, constant eye contact and I still have to look away from people after looking at their eyes for too long, but, it is much easier to do now, especially with people I know.
I went to a Psychiatrist and told her I think I have Asperger's and want to be tested for it.
She said, "I knew you had Asperger's with in the first 5 minutes of taking to you."
I managed to give the Psychiatrist eye contact. She, "said, "You probably had yo learn how to give people eye contact."
I explained to her how hard it was for me to learn how to look people in the eyes, how long it took to get used to it and that it is still hard for me to do and often uncomfortable to give eye contact, but, I am now at least able to do it.
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