Baby Smokes Crack

OMG, Becky, look at her Boobs! They are just so huge! She looks like one of those porn star's girlfriends! Who understands those porn star's! They only talk to her because she looks like a total silicone babe! I mean her boobs are just so square and fake! Look, she is just so White!

I love fake boobs and I cannot lie! My homeboys can't deny, when a girl walks in with those size 75 triple D's in yo face you get dis-trac-Ted! Wanna pull up tough, because you notice those knockers were stuffed, deep in the bra she's wearin'! I looked and I can't stop grabbin'! Oh baby, I wanna get which ya and get a picture of me grabbin those bongos! My honkies tried to warn me, but that rack you got makes, Me so horny! Oh Rumplesiliconeskin you say you wanna get in my Chevy! Well use me use me, cause you ain't got average boobies! I seen her on stage dancin',  to he'll with romancin', I see sweat, wet, she's got it goin' like a jumbo jet! I'm tired of magazines, saying A cups are the thing! Take the average White man and ask him back, she gotta' pack much boob!
So White boys! (Yeah!) White boys! (Yeah!)
Does yo girlfriend got the maracas!
Tell her to shake them! Shake them! Shake those silicone breasts!
Baby smokes Crack!
Baby smokes Crack!
I like em square and huge!
And when I'm throwing a gig, I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like a Pitbull!
Now here's my MS Randall!
Wanna get you home and uh! Double up, uh uh!
I ain't talking about Playboy, because natural breasts are made for toys!
I want em real huge and silicony! I'm beggin' for a piece of those bongos!
Mix-A-Lot's in troubose!
So I'm looking at Rap videos, knocking dees bimboes walking like homos! You can have them homos! I'll keep my women like JoJo!
A word to the big chested White girls, I wanna get which ya! Won't cuss or spit on ya! But, I gotta be straight when I say I wanna!
(Girls voice, orgasmic: Ooh aaaah!)
Till the Sun goes down! Baby got it goin' on! Some s cents will love this song! Those punks like to hit it and quit it! But I'd rather stay because I am not gay!
Because those Hooters are long and strong and they're down to get the friction on!
So girlies, (Yeah!) girlies! (Yeah!) Do you wanna drive in my Ferrari! (Yeah!)
Then turn around, puff them out! Even Black boys gotta shout!
Baby smokes Crack!
Baby smokes Crack!
Yeah baby, when it comes to females, Ebony ain't got nothin' to do with my selection!
5-A-cup ha ha, only if she's barely 18!
So your girlfriend drives a Honda, playing porno tapes by Wanda! But, Wanda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda!
My Alaskan Pipeline don't want none unless you got boobs jube!
You can lift some weights or do Yoga! But please don't lose those boobs!
Some White boys wanna play that hard roll and tell ya' that the boobs ain't goal! They toss them and leave them! And I pull up quick to retrieve them!
So Ebony says you're PHAT! Well I'm down with that! Because your breasts are large and your curves are kickin'! I'm thinkin' about stickin' to the big butt Danes in the magazines, you ain't hip miss thing! Give me a White sista, can't resist her!
Red meat and cookies didn't miss her!
Some dip shit tried to diss, said boobs are on my list! He didn't have no game so he chose to hit em! And I pull up tough to get wit em!
So ladies if the breasts are square and you don't wanna go nowhere, dial
1-900-Mix-A-Lot and kick those nasty thoughts!
Baby smokes Crack!   
Baby smokes Crack!
Huge in the middle but she got smokes much Crack!
Huge in the middle but she got smokes much Crack!
Huge in the middle but she got smokes much Crack!

Outdated technology.

Stick shifts are dumb, old technology and they must get rid of them forever!
I'll bet you don't own a typewriter. You probably don't even know how to use a typewriter either!
You probably drive a car and you don't own a horse and buggy.
You probably have a cellphone and you don't look around trying to find a pay phone. You probably don't even have a phone in your house attached to the wall.
You probably also have a CD player and DVD player.
You don't own a cassette player or a VHS player.
You have a calculator on your cellphone, you don't know how to use a slide rule. You might not even know what a slide rule is.
You have a GPS in your car and/or on your phone. You will never need to look at a paper map again.
If you have a gun, I'll bet it's either a semiautomatic handgun or a pump action shotgun or some similar, modern style gun, not a muzzleloader.
You probably have a debit card and you very rarely write paper checks.
You carry cash made out of paper, silver and copper. Not clam shells that wash up on the beach or gold rocks and dust, like people used Thousands of years ago.
Just like everyone else in the US, you either throw your pennies in a jar at home or throw them all out your car window, because you don't give a shit about the damn things!
All the above mentioned crap is old, obsolete technology! We don't need, want or understand most of that old shit anymore! Nobody wants to buy it and if any company continued making that junk, the company would go broke, because no one would ever buy that stupid old junk! Stick shifts are getting to be that way to!
I hate them, can't drive the damn things and I don't give a damn about them! To hell  with stick shifts! They are obsolete technology! They are making less and less of them each year and starting to phase them out of existence! Good! Cause, I hate the useless things!

Things to do when you get high.

WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU'RE HIGH:
(Only do this stuff where Marijuana is legal!)

Watch YouTube videos that say: "Watch while high".
Drink beer. (Don't drink so much that you get drunk! I know from other people's experiences that being drunk and high at the same time is not very fun!)
Go to public places, like the mall, school or Time Square in in NYC.
Go to the bar and hang out with your friends.
Meet women (or men). Marijuana makes you more relaxed, better and much quicker than alcohol. It also makes some people more talkative.
Pet a cat or dog.
Talk to people, but, pretend you are not high.
Try doing a "Field Sobriety Test". The tests the police give you when they suspect you're driving drunk. Walk a straight line. Stand on one foot. Say the alphabet. Touch your nose. Etc.
Tell jokes.
Pull pranks on people.
Apply for a job online. Or go to a job interview. JUST KIDDING! DON'T DO THIS!!!
Smoke more weed (or Crack).
Video tape yourself while high. Watch the tape the next day. Laugh at yourself and then, DESTROY THE TAPE AND THROW IT AWAY!!! Because, if you don't, someone might find the tape and use it against you in some way! They could blackmail you or just put it on YouTube, use it as evidence against you in court, etc.
Karaoke.
Listen to your favorite music (It sounds a little different when your high).
Watch: Live PD and Cops. (Both of those TV shows will probably scare the hell out of you if you watch them high. Just because they show police).
Watch "To Catch a Predator" (Watching that show is funnier and more entertaining when  you are high. It is also scary, because it shows police arresting people and weird child molesters walking into a strange house and meeting Chris Hansen. You can watch old episodes of the show on YouTube.).
Give prank calls (I certainly don't seriously recommend giving prank calls, because it's illegal. But, if you choose to do it, don't blame me! Because, I said, don't do it)!
Play Bloody Mary (Go in a dark room with a mirror. Shut the lights off. Stand in front of the mirror. Close your eyes. Spin around Three (3) times and say, "Bloody Mary" each time you spin around. Face the mirror and open your eyes. If you see Bloody Mary in the mirror, freeze, DON'T MOVE! You have to wait until she disappears. If you move while you see her in the mirror, she will slash your throat and kill you!!!! She is very mean! It might take a few seconds before she disappears or it could take all night!
(Playing Bloody Mary would probably be even scarier than watching Live PD or Cops.)
Drink lots of water, eat chocolate and munch on non-fattening foods (You will get the munchies and you will get cotton mouth, you'll be extremely thirsty. Marijuana  makes some people crave Chocolate).
Look at the stars in the sky (Don't use a Telescope! Because, you may be really clumsy and knock the Telescope over and break it! If you have an expensive Telescope, you don't want to take that risk!).
Sleep (Marijuana helps some people sleep. It causes other people problems sleeping. I know somebody who said they woke up screaming and terrified, because they had horrible nightmares after smoking weed!)
Watch a movie. (There are some specific, crazy movies that are good to watch while high, including: The Matrix, Wizard of OZ, Friday the 13th 3-D, Alice in Wonderland and Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood are just a few examples).
Write anything you can think of. Just random thoughts (Write One full page. Then, check out what you wrote the next day, when you're sober. Some people have fun reading all the crazy, weird Things they wrote and seeing how sloppy their writing was the next day).
Read a book (It will probably take you about Ten minutes to read Two paragraphs! Then, you won't remember anything you read Two minutes later! You don't have a good short term memory when you're high. You also won't be able to concentrate on reading for very long. I don't know why weed is approved to treat ADHD.)
Go for a walk (Be careful if you walk down the road or sidewalk. Because, the police might see you or you might walk out into traffic. It might be safer to walk through parking lots or through the woods and staying away from the road.)
Do Pushups, sit ups or other basic, simple exercises (Nothing to strenuous, like lifting weights or running).
Put on camouflage, go out to the woods and play Army (War games). Just, don't use any real guns!
Order Pizza or other food delivery. ( Either order food for yourself or order delivery for your neighbors. You sit in front of your window and watch the pizza delivery driver try to deliver the pizza to your neighbors and laugh at their reaction!)
Check out all the ugly girls and see if they actually start to look good.
Go to a fast food drive through. Order food, a rum and Coke and water. Tell them you have the munchies and cotton mouth. Tell them you want this order to go (not for dine in). Ask if you can buy some more Marijuana. Then drive away laughing!

Things you should NOT do while high:
Drive a car!
Ride a bike.
Ride a skateboard.
Go surfing.
Swim.
Shoot a gun.
Hang around with people you don't like.
Go to work or school.
Do homework assignments for school.
Type anything at all on: Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Instagram or similar sites.
Go shopping for groceries, clothes, cars, gold jewelry or anything, especially nothing expensive! This includes: Not going to the store and don't get on EBay or other, similar sites.
Just plain stay off the Internet period when you're high or drunk.
Play Football, Baseball or other sports. (Playing any sports or cheerleading would be very dangerous and you might end up in the hospital or dead!)
Ride a Horse or motorcycle.
Vote. (If you are a Republican, you might get crazy and vote for Tea Party, Democrat or Libertarian.)
Practice Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Kung Fu or other martial arts. That would be really dangerous.
Go to the police station and talk to the cops.
Lift weights (Very dangerous).
Run.
Cooking.
Skydiving.
Snowboarding.
Build a house. (You'd hit your fingers with the hammer more than you'd hit the nails!)
Science experiments. (I wonder what would happen if I mix these Three chemicals together? Boom!)
Don't do anything illegal or dangerous.

Most importantly, if you have serious problems, call 911! MOST OF THE TIME, Doctors, Paramedics, Nurses and everyone else that works in the hospital and ambulance are not allowed to tell anyone about your medical condition, any drugs you've taken or anything else, they can't even tell the police in most situations. They can usually, only tell someone about your medical condition with your written permission or a court order. That is the law in the US. The law is called: HIPPA.

Similarities between Asperger's and other disorders.

What does Asperger's have in common with other disorders?
Asperger's and Autism are frequently misdiagnosed and confused with other disorders, including:
ADHD
OCD
Schizophrenia
Just to name a few.
A few things these disorders have in common with Asperger's include:
ADHD:
Fidgeting.
Having trouble sitting quietly or sitting still.
Having trouble taking turns or waiting for their turn.
Frequently interrupting others.
Act or speak without thinking.
Struggle with following instructions.
Problems with being forgetful.
Ability to hyperfocus (often getting distracted and hyperfocusing on the wrong thing).
People with ADHD are more than 2x more likely to attempt suicide. People with Asperger's are more than 20 times more likely to attempt suicide than people without the disorder!
People often don't trust people with ADHD or Asperger's and people with these disorders have a hard time trusting other people.
Poor organization skills. Frequently losing things.
Not good at time management.
Anger outbursts.
A lot of people with either one of the disorders really love cats.

OCD:
Unwanted, intrusive thoughts.
Following a routine.
Obsessive hand washing.
Checking doors repeatedly to make sure they are locked.
Checking the stove to make sure it's off.

Schizophrenia:
Delusional thinking.
Easily agitated.
Lack of emotional expressions.
Phobias.
Acting inappropriately for the current situation. (Ex: Feeling sad, but smiling. Laughing at a funeral or showing no emotion or facial expression.)
Lack of pleasure or interest in things.
Little desire for social interactions.
Much higher risk of attempting suicide (About 10% of Schizophrenics attempt suicide).
People with Paranoid Schizophrenia often act aggressive and impulsive (Those traits are not as common in other types of Schizophrenia).
Stimming (Ex. Hand flapping, rocking back and forth, etc).

Asperger's:
Lack of social awareness (Not picking up on nonverbal cues. Not showing normal body language, facial expressions or tone of voice.
Also, not being able to pick up on other people's nonverbal body language, facial expressions, etc).
Unusual speech patterns.
(Monotone voice, speaking too loudly, more advanced vocabulary than most people their age,trouble comprehending figurative language, literal interpretation of things. "For example: Raining cats and dogs." They might think there is literally animals falling out of the sky.)
One sided conversations. (They don't let the other person talk as much as they do. Only want to talk about things they like.)
Resistance to change.
They appear to lack empathy. Sometimes they are truly not very empathetic. But, usually they are very empathetic, they just don't show it very well, because, they don't show facial expressions and body language very well. They also don't show the normal tone of voice for the situation. They often have monotone voices.
Easily overstimulated by noise, light, heat and cold).
Limited, intense interests on only a few subjects. Like, Outer Space, Dinosaurs, Math or cars.
Lack of eye contact. They have a very hard time looking people in the eyes. It is a phobia for them.
Sometimes staring at people or objects.
Difficulty making friends and keeping them.
A lot of kids have delayed motor skill development.
Isolation or minimal interaction in social situations.
Inability to understand and recognize: Humor, jokes, irony and sarcasm.
Problems expressing empathy, controlling emotions and communicating feelings.
Meltdowns.
Sometimes hyperactive.
Overstimulated senses.
A lot of people on the Autism spectrum love cats and dogs.
Have problems multitasking.
Often very smart with high IQ scores.
(Einstein and Bill Gates are suspected of having Asperger's. Bill Gates went to Harvard. Both of them had IQ scores of: 160, geniuses.)
Detail oriented. They notice fine details and not the big picture.
Can recognize patterns in things.
More than 20 times more likely to attempt suicide.
Clumsiness.
Stimming.
Able to hyperfocus on things.
Not big on team sports. Really not big fans of any sports at all. However, they'd rather play individual sports, that don't involve a team, like Golf.
Suffer from Depression and Anxiety.
Less trusting of people.
Have serious problems driving a manual transmission vehicle. They need to get an automatic transmission.
They often have problems finding and keeping a job.

More boys are diagnosed with Asperger's and Autism than girls.
It is difficult for Psychologists to test for Autism.
Most people are diagnosed when they are much older. (I was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 40.)
Someone who has Asperger's is often called an "Aspie".
Fidget Spinners are good for people with Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Asperger's is now referred to as an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Asperger's is no longer listed in the DSM manual.
People often have Two or more psychological disorders, such as: Asperger's and ADHD. This is known as: "Comorbid disorders".
Autism is represented by a puzzle. Because, it is a "puzzling disorder". There are so many symptoms. Nobody has literally all the symptoms. No Two people with the disorder are exactly alike. It is very puzzling and confusing to both people who have it and people that don't. It's usually a Blue puzzle. Blue is the color chosen to represent Autism.